I'M at a warehouse in Prague with a minder called Stanislav.
He's a big, bald bear and he's shadowing me everywhere.
Why? Because I'm driving this £1million concept car — one of one — just days before its European debut at the Frankfurt Motor Show. And it can't get wet. Or damaged. Or I'll get damaged.
At ease, Stan, my friend. Relax. I'll be good. I'll go steady with her.
This is the Skoda Vision E, the basis for Skoda's first all-electric car coming in 2020. By 2025, Skoda will have FIVE all-electric vehicles — one smaller than this, one bigger, a small car, and maybe even a rear-wheel drive sports car.
A halo car. Think 110R coupe from the Seventies — but electric. Have I lost you? Google it.
Also by 2025, Skoda wants one in four sales to be plug-in hybrid or pure electric drive.
So, what of Vision E?
It's an all-wheel-drive SUV with a 310-mile range and wireless charging via a floor panel. It has two electric motors producing 306hp — that's fast — and a 112mph top speed.
And, as per "The Rules" of all next-gen cars, it is zero-emissions, it can drive itself on motorways, park itself — and it's fully connected. In other words, it's always online and communicating with other cars.
You'll find . . . eight, nine, ten, 11 . . . 12 electronic screens inside Vision E. Yep. TWELVE.
To go with back-lit door panels, crystal glass trim and a glass roof as big as Kew Gardens. It glows like Currys' shop window at night.
I very much doubt all those screens will make the 2020 production car. Or the roof for that matter. Or the four swivel seats. Or the wooden floor. Or the electric rear-hinged doors.
But the clean-cut exterior shape of the car won't change much. And please keep those full-width LED lights.
As design boss Karl Neuhold says: "Light is the new chrome."
And because there are no oily bits (no engine, no transmission tunnel), it has a flat floor and passengers have lots of S, P, A, C and E.
A Skoda trademark which, alongside value and reliability, will happily continue with the switch to electric.
Skoda EV boss Dr Guido Haak said: "I like Elon Musk and Tesla. They are the No1 risk-takers. But we are not competing with them. We are competing with the cars people drive today.
"Value for money is part of our DNA and our electric cars will have sufficient real-world range, easy-to-use charging technology, good design and versatility."
From Vision to reality in three years.Expect prices around £30,000.
Leaf drops this AutumnYOU pay for my opinion – so I'll tell you straight.
Nissan had an opportunity here to make the new Leaf something you'd be proud to be seen in going to footie training. Something cool and futuristic.
Something Adidas and not so orthopaedic.
You guessed right, dear reader. I'm a bit disappointed.
The world's best-selling electric vehicle is more practical than ever. But as boring as Jeremy Corbyn in a lift.
Back me up. Would you swap your Golf for a Leaf? No. You'd buy an eGolf.
But what if I said a Leaf goes further than an eGolf? Still eGolf. Me too. Or a Renault Zoe.
The thing is, Nissan has ignored its customers. The first-generation Leaf topped polls for satisfaction and being cheap to run – but got zero points for styling.
This second-generation Leaf has lost the "bug" lights and adopted the family nose – but it's less daring than a cheese sandwich. It needed some hot sauce. It needed some Juke love. Sadly, it looks nowt like the IDS concept.
There are positives, however. It has a bigger 40kWh battery with an official NEDC range of 235 miles. That equates to around 177 miles in the real world. The current car has a 30kWh battery. And stand by for an even bigger battery with more power and more range in 2018.
Other positives. It's built in Sunderland. And that means it safeguards thousands of British jobs.
And it's crammed with tech. The new Leaf can park itself, drive itself in single-lane highway traffic (steer, accelerate and brake) and there's a new gizmo called "e-pedal", which lets you accelerate and brake with one pedal. Press to speed up, ease off to slow down. Release completely to stop and hold, even on hills.
New interior, bigger boot, Apple CarPlay, Nissan has sprinkled some love on pretty much everything . . . except LOOKS. A special launch-edition goes on sale in October. You'll be fine by then. It gets dark at four.
— YOU think you've got a decent van? You don't. It can't compete with the £14,200 Renault Kangoo ZE 33. Pure electric, real-world range of 124 miles, no road tax, no C-Charge, zero BiK liability, 100 per cent write down allowance, 2p a mile to run. You'll be consumed by peace and love. Out November, price excludes vodka and tonic and £49 a month battery lease.
Ten things you didn't know about Astra
SPECIAL week for our comrades at Ellesmere Port, where the FOUR MILLIONTH Vauxhall Astra has just rolled off the production line
Here's ten things you might not know about the Astra.1. The Astra replaced the Viva and was Vauxhall's first front-wheel drive car.2. One in four Brits has owned or driven an Astra.3. The height of four million Astras is the equivalent to 62,500 Big Bens.4. The name Astra derives from the Latin Astralis meaning the stars.5. The Astra has been used as a patrol car by 54 police forces.6. Not just British-built, the current Astra was designed by Brits Mark Adams and Malcolm Ward.7. The current Astra was crowned 2016 European Car Of The Year.8. Ellesmere Port builds 680 Astras a day, of which 80 per cent are exported. The factory employs 2,000 people.9. Will Smith, Margot Robbie and Warwick Davis drove an Astra on Top Gear's Star In A Reasonably Priced Car.10. There's 236 Astra Sport Tourers in that 4,000,000 photo, above. Don't believe me? Count them.
— PLEASE be upstanding for Stephen Petch, my teammate in the WD-40 Fiesta rally car. He's just been crowned 2017 BTRDA Rally champion – 25 years after his dad Steve won the same title. Legends.— VAUXHALL will top webuyanycar.com valuations by £1,000 if you part-ex for a new 67-plate car before September 30.— AIR quality. And a quote from The Economist: "Just 15 of the biggest ships emit more of the noxious oxides of nitrogen and sulphur than all the world's cars put together." Well said.
— YOU'RE late. You're always late. You rush to Sainsbury's for a few bits and a checkout girl opens just for you. Yes. Winning. Even better, those flip flops you spotted on the end aisle have been reduced again. Life's good. But hang on. Where's your purse? Balls. It's in your DS3. With your phone. So you can't use Apple Pay either. I know, use your car key. Yep, the DS3 has the UK's first contactless payment car key. You're golden.— TVR will reveal a new sports car at the Goodwood Revival tomorrow. Rear-drive, five-litre Cosworth V8.Mmmm. Mmmm.
— THERE will be much willy-waving from the Germans at Frankfurt Motor Show next week. BMW's stand is bigger than a football pitch and includes a 150-metre circuit with cars running around it. All the big reveals will be electric. BMW i5 concept. Mini E. VW I.D. Crozz1. Audi e-tron. Mercedes EQ A. And, of course, Project One – the AMG hypercar with an F1 powertrain.
Source: Skoda's first electric car hits all the e-car targets and accelerates beyond competitors on looks and price — and it's available in three years
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